Aunt Wendy visits

Last weekend Tess met her Aunt Wendy for the first time!  This was major not just because my sister was meeting her only neice, but also because it was the first time my sister has visited Atlanta!  I have lived here for 8-1/2 years now and have been unsuccessful in my attempts to get my sister’s butt down here.  I had to finally resort to reproducing in order to lure her down here!

Meeting auntie for the first time.

We went out to some great restaurants, got pedicures, went out to meet a bunch of our friends at our favorite pub, watched our favorite trash TV shows – it was fantastic.  

Pedicures

Wendy even babysat for us one night while Andy and I went out for our first night solo without Tess! We saw Les Mis (which was AMAZING – I cried like 15 times. Go see it) and while all we did was talk about how awesome our daughter was the whole time, we had a great time being on our own for a couple hours.  It was really wonderful that she did that for us since it is going to be very difficult for us to trust anyone with Tess for quite some time. Since we don’t have family nearby, we will be hard pressed to find any time for getting out on our own.

It was also incredibly helpful to have Wendy around for the hours Andy was at work.  Taking care of an infant is most definitely a two-person job.  Maybe even a three-person job.  For example, one night during Wendy’s visit we were planning on meeting a bunch of friends out at the Marlay House – our favorite pub.  Andy was going to go straight from work so it was up to me and Wen to get Tess ready for her big night out.  We got her dressed in a cute little pink outfit and I fed her – definitely DEFINITELY the wrong order.  As we got her loaded into her car seat and all strapped in, she spit up – a LOT – all over herself.  So much so that I was going to need to change her shirt.  So I go to change her, but of course had to change the whole outfit because without the shirt the whole ensemble just wouldn’t work.

Wendy tells me I should put a bib on her so if she spits up again I don’t have to change her clothes. Great idea!  Except because I’m clueless all the bibs I’ve received from baby showers I figured I wouldn’t need until she was eating solid foods so I had them packed away, God only knew where. Wendy goes off to find the bibs and by some miracle actually found them!  Tess gets changed into what Wendy determines is an even CUTER outfit for her night out on the town, and I load her into the car seat again. Except in my haste, I forgot the friggin’ bib!  Tess of course spits up all over herself again – so much so that she once again needs to be changed.  I was SO mad at myself. How could I have forgotten the bib after Wendy dug through the whole nursery to find one?!  I threw a little hissy fit, shouting about how I suck at this parenting thing.  Wendy fortunately talked me off the ledge, and made a joke about how Tess is just high maintenance like her auntie and didn’t like either outfit I put on her so was doing this so I would change it.  I changed Tess for the third time - this time remembering the bib – and got her into the car seat. 

We headed down to the pub – an hour late but we made it –of course she was done throwing up so didn’t need the bib that I was so proud I remembered.  After being at the Marlay for a few minutes she started to fuss so I picked her up and her whole bum was soaked! Her diaper leaked.  Are you freaking KIDDING ME?!  I couldn’t believe it.  Wendy and I take her to the ladies room where Tess is about to experience her second public toilet changing table (see Parents-in-training. Do not judge).  I did happen to have a change of clothes in her diaper bag, but it was a short sleeved onesie.  Its January and I have a short sleeve onesie packed in there?!  What the hell was I thinking???  “Oh well, its better than being wet,” I thought and proceed to change her diaper and clothes.  In the process of getting the necessary items out of the diaper bag Wendy drops the clean diaper on the floor of the bathroom.  I was about to panic yet again,  but thank God I had more than one spare diaper packed. Phew, ok I did ONE thing right.  We put her fresh diaper on, put the summer-appropriate outfit I had packed on her, and wrapped her in a blanket.  At least we had that. 

Tess wrapped in her blanket so she wasn't half naked in the pub.

It was seriously a comedy of errors!  If Wendy hadn’t been there, I certainly wouldn’t have made it out that night – and even if I had, would have left after discovering she was soaked from her diaper.  Having been through baby-hood 3 times herself, Wendy assured me over and over that this is what it’s all about and not to beat myself up over it.  I am a perfectionist unfortunately and perfection should not even be in my vocabulary right now.  The whole experience while incredibly annoying really taught me I need to just chill the f out.  And in the end despite having gone through 4 outfits and 3 diapers in 90 minutes, we had a great night out without any tears!

This experience was good preparation for after Wendy left.  My first day on my own I had set 2 goals for myself: to go for a walk with Tess and to go grocery shopping.  I now realize I should have a single goal each day: just to keep Tess alive!  Keep her fed, make sure she doesn’t sit in a soiled diaper all day, make sure she keeps breathing, etc.  Anything beyond that is just gravy.  But I had high hopes, so I got Tess bundled up and strapped her into her car seat and out we headed for a nice mid-morning stroll.  I have no idea why, but I could NOT open her stroller!  I literally fought the damn thing for 15 minutes!  During which time, of course, Tess started crying like crazy.  As she screamed in her carseat, I was pushing and pulling and it was just sealed shut – I convinced myself it was broken. I was so damn mad I threw it back into the car and decided to just put the carseat in the car and go to Whole Foods instead. She had worked herself into such a tizzy during the stroller struggle, it was going to take a while for her to stop crying.  

Since I know she likes riding around in the car, I decided to just drive around for a bit to get her to calm down.  Finally she did so I pull into Whole Foods. The second I park? The tears start again.  I did not want to walk around with pretentious Whole Foods shoppers giving me death stares because of my crying infant, so I gave up and left.  The second I start to drive?  She stopped crying.  I thought, if I drive around for a little longer maybe she’ll calm down for real.  I found myself up near Sam’s club and there were a few items I needed there so decided to pop in.  Again, the second I parked? WAHHHHHHHH!!!  Seriously, Tess???  Ug.  At that point I gave up on any hopes of shopping and drove home.  Of course, when I parked in my driveway she kept quiet.  

At that point I decided to have another go at the stroller to see if I could at least accomplish one of my two goals for the day.  The first try at the stroller? It popped right open!  I’m convinced that my tossing it back into the car fixed whatever was broken. That’s what I’ll tell myself at least.  So I put Tess into the stroller and we went for a lovely walk through our neighborhood.  Goal accomplished!  I was so happy!  And so proud of myself for not losing it at every failed attempt at accomplishing one of my two (seemingly minor) goals.  I kept repeating my sister’s words to myself the whole time and tried to remind myself this is the new normal and that it was no biggie.  At least I didn’t have to change her clothes 14 times.

WAHHHH!

All in all, it was a great visit with Wendy and she taught me a lot about parenting. Little tricks for calming Tess down when she works herself up, AND tricks for keeping myself calm when I work myself up!   Its funny, I never thought I’d say that but I really did learn a lot from her.  I say this because Wendy and I have certainly had our ups and downs over the years.  For those that know both of us, we couldn’t be more different.  We are complete opposites in everyway and that has lead to a lot of disagreements over the years. In fact, when our brother died in 2009 we hadn’t spoken for nearly a year.  Since then, we have grown closer and are learning to overlook our differences.  Family is family, and we have been through a lot together.  I was in the delivery room when she gave birth to her youngest son Alex.  We were both by our brother’s side as he took his last breath.  Despite our tendency to fight, we have experienced some of life’s most major events together.  Nothing can change the fact that we are sisters.  Trust me, I’ve tried! (Just kidding! Sort of…)  And as loath as I am to admit it, this trip really reminded me how lucky I am to have her. :-)

Siblings 1997

Siblings 2005

Me + Wendy 2006

Siblings 2007