Do you know what “emesis” means?

My title is a take on my favorite line from one of my favorite movies, Snatch.  The line actually goes “Do you know what nemesis means?”  Instead here I’m talking about MY nemesis : emesis.  Spit-up, sick, vomit, barf, throw-up, the expulsion of the contents of ones guts through the mouth and/or nose - PUKE!

"I am awesome at puking!!!"

Bricktop explains in the movie, nemesis is defined as “A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent, personified in this case by a horrible [expletive deleted] : me.”  

Or... personified in MY life as Tess’ inability to keep her esophageal sphincter functioning as a one-way street.

Babies spit-up, we all know that.  Its part of life.  But Tess spits-up a LOT.  Like, constantly. Not just after eating. We’re talking after she eats, right before she’s supposed to eat again, while eating, while sleeping, while pooping – constantly!  And excessively. Its voluminous.  On her worst days she goes through 15 bibs, 5 outfits, 3 boppy covers, 2 sets of sheets and a partridge in a pear tree. That’s not to mention the clothing I go through from being puked on.  I wish it were summer so I could just keep her in a diaper all day and skip clothes all together.  People said my life was going to be made difficult from all the extra laundry from using cloth diapers, but trust: the laundry from cloth diapers ain’t nuthin’ compared to the laundry I do from puke. 

How I would prefer to dress Tess.
She's pointing and looking at me like she's thinking 

"Mom, take that picture of me without a shirt on and you will regret it!"

The excessive puking didn’t start immediately.  I was lulled into a false sense of security when we first got home with Tess where I could feed her, burp her briefly then put her down to sleep.  Then at about 3 weeks old she changed her tune.  You can read “Aunt Wendy Visits” to get a glimpse into how it started.  Fortunately, my sister was here then to introduce me to the concept of bibs.  I surely would have lost my mind by now if it weren’t for bibs. 

This is my personal favorite bib of Tess'

"My mom is hot."

The puking ramped up quickly over a few days and then was accompanied by excessive crying – screaming, really – about an hour after she would eat.  It was horrible.  I did some research and learned about how some babies have a sensitivity to cow’s milk proteins in mama’s diet that get into breast milk.  I also noticed the worst day we had with the spit up and crying was after I had a pasta with a creamy sauce for dinner, cereal with milk for breakfast the next morning, and a cheese sandwich with a yogurt for lunch.  It didn’t take me long to put 2 and 2 together and think about the possibility that Tess might have this sensitivity I was reading about. 

This is probably my sister's favorite bib. 

"My auntie rocks."

Now, I'm guessing somewhere around half of my calories probably come from dairy.  I drink a LOT of milk, cheese, yogurt, ice cream, butter… the list goes on.  You know, all the stuff that makes food taste good!!! I looooove dairy.  But I love a happy baby more, so while I was loath to do it, I immediately cut dairy out of my life.  I also lost 7 pounds in the process, despite eating like a pig!  (Making breast milk makes me HONGRAY!!!)

And this is probably my mom's favorite: 

"Grandma is simply the best."

Unfortunately, those cow proteins are sticky and take a while to clear out of your system.  You have to give up dairy for at least 2 weeks before your breast milk is completely free of all the cow’s milk proteins. I did feel like the post-prandial screaming was starting to dissipate after about 4 or 5 dairy-free days, though.  I had to bring Tess for a weight check at that point, so I asked the pediatrician about it.  She told me to keep going with the dairy-free diet, but also told me about these Bio-Gaia pro-biotic drops.  Apparently some babies don’t have enough of the bacteria lactobacillus and can have troubles digesting food properly without it. The doc said it couldn’t hurt Tess to use the drops and it was worth a shot.  Done! I was convinced.  I went straight to Walgreens to get a vial – they are damn expensive though.  $30 for not quite a month’s worth.  But between the drops and/or my diet change, Tess’ symptoms improved.  She stopped the crazy fussiness almost completely. 

Red Sox bib.  Nice.

Although... since it is something that gets puked on, maybe we should get a Yankees bib???

But… she is still a puker!  OMG! Don’t get me wrong, I’d much rather deal with puke than tears since she doesn’t appear to be suffering or unhappy!  But it is still excessive. It also waxes and wanes.  I notice that the first feeding I do in the morning is the least “pukey,” then mid-morning is the most “pukey” usually.  Some days are better than others.  And being a scientist I over analyze everything to try to find a cause – trying to gather evidence so I can come to a conclusion.  But maybe this isn’t a “cause-and-effect” type of thing, but just a “babies-are-finicky-and-unpredictable” kind of thing?

Our burping routine, we spend much time in this position every day...

Whatever it is, yesterday was suddenly one of the worst days! It was like the days before giving up dairy and introducing the drops.  Here is a picture of the laundry basket filled with items soaked in puke accumulated between 4am and 8am:

That basket comes mid-way up my thigh!  

She was not only spitting up far more than usual that morning, but was super fussy too.  Tess has been sleeping from 7pm until anywhere between 4 and 6am.  That night, however, she started waking up at 1am and was pissed off all through the night... and into the whole next day.

Pink leopard print bib.  Very sexy.

I did eat pancakes made with milk and also had a dessert that had a little milk in it the previous day.  I read that baked goods that contain dairy products should be fine, but apparently not?  For the last 5 weeks I’ve been 100% dairy free, but then had 2 food items that had a minimal amount of milk in them and then Tess was super pukey and fussy.  It would make sense that that was what caused her fussiness/pukiness.  But seriously, 1 cup of milk divided between 3 of us in pancakes???  Then there was a ½ cup of milk in the dessert I made, which I had about 1/10^th of!  Could that have really been the problem?  Who knows, but I’m going to avoid ANYTHING even with the tiniest bit of milk just in case. 

Heart-shaped bib.

Or maybe its dairy AND something else in my diet?  It does appear that it might be related to what I’m eating since, like I said, it waxes and wanes.  But I haven’t been able to identify anything else.  

At our 2 month check up I asked about it again, and basically if a baby is gaining weight, they don’t care about spitting up.  Tess was born at 9 pounds, went down to 8 pounds in the first few days after her birth and was 11 pounds at her 2 month check up.  As her physician put it – her weight gain is extraordinary.  Its possible I’m over-feeding her since she spits up so much, and is gaining so much weight… but when I try to feed her less she gets pissed off.  And still pukes. 

In prime position to soak my shirt.

The upshot of all of this is, the doctors aren’t concerned and basically just told me to buy some bibs and deal with it.  And it should stop when we introduce solid foods.  My mom - who is here visiting right now- thinks this is just Tess’ way of telling us she wants a steak for dinner. Mom also said my brother Ron was a puker when he was a baby.  If this means Tess will end up being like her Uncle Ron, who was the coolest guy I've ever known, it'll be worth it.

"Ron's world!"

Anyone who knew Ron knows what this means...

In the mean time, good thing she looks so cute in a bib!!!

And wearing a bib doesn't appear to impede her ability to play, either: