Ladies of leisure? I wish.

A few weeks ago I was outside planting some flowers in my front yard, and my neighbor (let’s call her Sarah since I haven’t asked her permission to write about her on here) was leaving to go walking with another woman. I chatted with them for a minute then off they went, pushing their little boys in jogging strollers.  When Sarah returned from her walk she told me that she and her friend, let’s call her Samantha, go walking once or twice a week and invited me to join them.  Samantha lives around the corner and has 2 small kids just like Sarah, and while their older ones are at preschool they walk with the younger ones. 

Tess likes being outside in the garden with Mom.

I’ll be honest, I felt a little bit like I got invited to sit at the cool kids’ lunch table at school when they invited me to go along with them.  I know, I’m such a geek, but I don’t have many friends in my neighborhood nor do I hang out with many people with kids – I also haven’t made new friends in longer than I care to admit, so this was super exciting for me all around. 

She REALLY loves being outdoors.

A couple of days later Sarah texted me saying they would be meeting at 9am the next day if I wanted to join them.  I said I’d be there, and planned my morning to make it happen.  Tess had been taking her first nap of the day right around 9, but since I really wanted to join them I thought I’d just shift her nap to start earlier.

HA! Rookie mistake.  First rule of Parent Club is when you make plans, nothing goes to plan.  I put Tess down for a nap at 8am thinking she would sleep til 8:30 at the latest since it is always a battle to get her to nap for more than 30 minutes.   This would have given me a whole 30 minutes to do one last feed and diaper change before heading out to meet the girls.  I even picked out a cute little outfit for her to wear. 

Just because we are exercising, doesn't mean we can't be fashionable.

Well, of course this one morning Tess decided she needed a good long nap.  I was basically sitting there watching her sleep, waiting for the slightest indication she was waking up, but she was completely comatose. 

8:45 came and went.

“OK, we will skip the feeding and just change her diaper, we won’t be gone long,” I thought.

8:50. 

8:55. 

“Well, hopefully she hasn’t pooped because she’s not getting a diaper change now either.” 

8:59. 

I was in a serious moral dilemma at this point!  Do I wake a sleeping baby?  Hell no!  An hour-long nap is like my dream – I will never be blessed with an hour-long nap again if I wake her!  She probably also wouldn’t stop crying the entire walk if I woke her. 

Andy did happen to be home still so he said he’d stay with her and I should go alone.  But this was a “Moms-Who-Walk-With-Babies” group! I can’t go Sans Baby!  They probably only wanted a cute little 4 month old cute baby girl to join them anyway, they didn’t care about me being there!  I was only a vessel for the baby! 

The cute one in front is clearly the draw here.

I briefly considered bringing my dog Twickers in the stroller, covering her with a blanket and telling them she was asleep. That plan would have worked too, had Twickers had a bath more recently than a month previously.  They instantly would have smelled a rat. Or a hound, as it were.

Fenway says 

"Why does the little bald puppy get to go for walks 

and not me when she can't even WALK!?"

 Finally, it was 9:05, I saw Sarah and Samantha out in the street loitering and knew it was do-or-die time.  I needed to go or else I would get kicked out of the moms walking group on my first day for tardiness.  The second I decided to just go alone, I saw Tess stir in the baby monitor video.  YES!!!  She is awake!!!  It may have been the first time I was actually excited to see her wake up. 

Tess and I walked a 5K for the 

Susan G Komen Race for the Cure

I quickly poked my head out my front door and shouted that Tess was just waking up from a nap and I’d be out in a second.  I ran back in, grabbed Tess, threw her into the baby carrier – no food, no fresh diaper, no cutie little outfit.  (Yes, yes, terrible mother that I am but I didn’t have that kind of time! I was desperate).  In her PJs, eyes still half closed with sleep marks on her face, looking like a deer in the headlights, I paraded her out into the street so I could make friends. 

Tess likes making new friends too.

I was very glad I exploited my poor hungry, soggy-diapered baby girl for my own benefit though, because I had a great time on the walk. And let’s face it, so did she!  She likes the stimulation she gets from being outdoors. 

Clearly looking very stimulated.

I did feel a bit overwhelmed from all the baby-raisin’ info I was inundated with though.  Gymboree, music class, reading groups at the library, choosing a pre-school, baby proofing, playground groups, vaccinations, learning to talk.  I have convinced myself my baby is going to be delayed because she does not go to Gymboree, will never get into a good pre-school since she isn’t already on a waitlist and I can't afford it anyway, and I not only need to cover my entire property in bubble wrap but need to get rid of my pool as well.  In fact, when Andy came home the first thing I said was: “We have to move.” 

OK maybe we won't get rid of the pool quite yet. 

She seems to be enjoying it so far...

I do feel grateful that I’m learning this stuff now and not when she’s 5.  At least now I can try to maybe undo all the harm I’ve already caused by my naïveté.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m putting the pressure entirely on myself – Sarah and Samantha are totally chill and not at all like those crazy Moms who are all, “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVEN’T STARTED GIVING HER PIANO AND CHESS LESSONS AT 5 MONTHS?!” They were just chatting about this stuff, which then made me start to panic that I didn’t know about it all.  I’m a type A personality, and always will be.  I want to be an expert in everything before I start.

We do our own version of Gymboree anyway.

She can already roll over in both directions!

and is ALMOST sitting up on her own, at least while sitting in the boppy!

Not bad for 5 months!

We have continued to walk once maybe twice a week, and I really do love it.  Both Sarah and Samantha are at home with their kids too, so it’s nice to talk to them about life as a “SAHM.” I also get plenty of reinforcement that I’ve made the right decision to do that. 

The bad thing is they don’t just walk… They also often run.  I have thus far avoided the running since I bring Tess in the baby carrier.  They told me I need to invest in a jogging stroller so I can run with them.

Ug. Running.

Tess' reaction when I suggested we start running.

"Say what???"

Running and I have a sordid history.  It is most certainly a love-hate relationship.  After I had my first ACL replacement surgery at 18 and had to give up playing contact sports, I started running for rehab and to keep in shape.  Throughout college I would run up to 6 miles or so for fitness on a pretty regular basis.  One summer I lived with my brother Ron and we would run together.  I would run off and on when I started grad school, mostly off during our insanely hot summers. 

When my brother died I did something crazy and convinced Andy to train for a marathon with me for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. The Team in Training group will provide coaches and training opportunities for marathons, triathlons, century rides etc if you raise a certain amount of money for them.  It was my therapy in grieving Ron’s death, Andy and I would go out and run and I would think about Ron, his illness, his life, our relationship. It was a very special time in my life and gave me a sense of clarity that I was desperate for at the time.  I also raised a ton of money for the LLS due to the extreme generosity of my family and friends, I was the #3 top fundraiser in the state of Georgia!  It was the best decision I’ve ever made, to run that race.  It was the proudest moment of my life. 

This was a video my friend Devon put together to commemorate our marathon.

But that was 3 years, 20 pounds, a second ACL surgery and 1 C-section ago.  I tore my ACL a second time last winter and had surgery just before getting pregnant.  I haven’t gone for a run in 18 months. 

I’ll be honest, when Sarah told me I needed a jogging stroller, my blood ran cold. I started plotting how I could avoid her from that moment forward so I wouldn’t have to face the fact that I probably couldn’t jog 1 mile.  How could I possibly admit this to her?  I have a 26.2 sticker on my car for Christs’ sake!  AND a 26.2 tattoo. I feel like a fraud.

Maybe I should show her my jersey and medal so she believes 

I was actually capable of running at one point.

This morning I was too sore from spreading 800 pounds of mulch in my yard the previous day to bring Tess in the baby carrier, so I walked with her in my regular non-jogging stroller.  Sarah asked if I wanted to try to run with the stroller I had.  Oh, no! I wouldn’t dream of it! Of course, I didn’t admit it wasn’t that I feared the stroller wouldn’t hold up for a run, it was the person pushing the stroller I was concerned about.  I didn’t want them to have to take Tess out and put me in it to get me back home. 

I think Tess wants to go out to lunch with Dad instead of go running.

As much as a part of me can’t help but think “Goddamnit, why did I have to befriend active moms who run? Why couldn’t I have met ladies who lunch and drink wine?!” I do kind of hope this inspires me to start running again. After my last knee surgery I did my PT, did a lot of walking, circuit training type of stuff.  I try to keep in shape in other ways.  But running is so good for the body and mind in a different way from all other kinds of exercise.    It’s just impossibly hard to start. 

Tess also thinks we need to spend more time going to lunch 

with Auntie Megan rather than exercise with the new friends.

Alas, I suppose the journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step.  So, in that vein… anyone out there have a cheap jogging stroller they are looking to get rid of?